Our house is ever changing. Walls being knocked down and new ones being built. Frankly it looks a mess. We’ve peeled wallpaper, ripped down ceilings, taken up floorboards and taken the house back to its bare bones. We have a vision for the beautiful home it will be, but right now it’s hard to see that. Part of the house is seemingly finished, but still it is a work in progress. There are always pictures to go up, curtains to hang and finishing touches to add. With 11 people living here we also make a mess and create dust, it all requires constant work.

All this stripping back got me thinking. It’s rather like what God does in our lives. He allows us to go through tough times, times when it feels as if we are so raw, when the pain is so deep it feels like you can barely catch your breath. How can our loving Father allow us to go through that?

I know He isn’t distant from our pain, for His Word explains how He feels it too. I was meandering through Acts recently when I came across fresh ‘manna’ for the day. Saul had famously met with Jesus on the road to Damascus and Jesus called out, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ I wondered why he said that when Saul was killing Christians, not Christ? I realised that when something is causing pain to one of God’s children, they are causing pain to the body of Christ and thus to Him. Upon reading this verse I was taken aback as I contemplated the level of pain that Christ must feel each day as He carries our burdens. Pain is no longer ours to bear alone. Christ really does carry it for us.

How in reality can we give our pain to God? It is a question I have been asking of late. Phil has a gift, he lives in the moment and let’s go of the past, or just forgets it. I don’t find it so easy. I have the memory of an elephant and I never have an empty mind, generally I am like a computer with too many tabs open. The tabs have recently been overwhelming me, as many of them were too painful to open. I asked God to show me how to let go and gradually I’m learning. I am choosing to follow the advice given in Philippians 4:8, ‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things’. I realised that much of my time was being spent focusing on the wrong things. I was focusing on my sadness and the grief and in doing so was finding myself anxious and low. If I am to truly to heal, I need to follow God’s advice and be careful what I think of.

I am so much happier this week having spent my days listening to gentle music, reading the Bible to myself and the children, knitting, sewing and writing. In some ways it just feels like the self care the world would administer, but God thought of it first. God knows our human frailties and has an answer for each of them. The answer to leaving our troubles in God’s hands? Turn away from thinking about them constantly and fill our minds with pure and lovely things and watch Him melt away the pain, as He takes it from us.

One day I won’t feel so raw and I will have strength to think about Dad’s death, but for today I need a break and God, in His goodness, has shown me how to find one.

I wasn’t sure what I would write tonight, only that writing was what I must do. I hope that someone somewhere needed to hear these words. If I can help in any way, please feel free to drop me a message.

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Many blessings to you, Vicki

6 thoughts on “Tearing down walls

  1. Shalom Vicki

    THANK YOU for your post, I feel our Heavenly Father really spoke to me through the blessed gift of words he has given you.

    So much of what you write mirrors my own experiences in its diverse ways, its uncanny.

    I was brought up in the faith then slid away, my faith was, & still is at times, sorely tested through hurt & grief, & its now only through that hurt & grief that I am slowly strengthening my faith as I try to draw near to our Heavenly Father. I guess if it wasn’t for all the pain & anguish my faith wouldn’t be where it is now, growing stronger.

    Currently I am praying for the strength both mental & physical to finish a modest house renovation project that has been going on for more than 6 years, living in a makeshift bedsit within a 3 bedroom house, using a bathroom as a dual purpose kitchen, and a place to shower. The old kitchen was ripped out 5 years ago & I still have not gotten round to replacing it. To further compound problems my other half was diagnosed with mixed dementia, vascular dementia plus Alzheimer’s. What with the delusions & hallucinations getting worse on top of the constant lapses in memory, life seems hard to cope with at times. Every day I PRAY to our Heavenly Father FOR A MIRACLE of healing of the brain, & to give me the strength to go on as Carer & home renovator to cope with all of life’s difficulties

    At the same time the Holy Spirit is STRONGLY convicting me to somehow provide (a home) a hostel for homeless aged men, who are the most despised in the homeless category by society as a whole & many in this world, who think of them as dirty old tramp like creatures, they are today’s version of LEPERS. I don’t have the money to do much to make a difference but I am hoping/PRAYING our Heavenly Father will work a MIRACLE here as well so that I may make a difference.
    Luke 17:12-13 ESV
    And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.”

    Please PRAY for me as I PRAY for you & your family (It could be like an online prayer group)
    Matthew 18:19-21
    English Standard Version
    19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

    • Thank you so much for leaving your comment, I am so thankful that the words of my post were helpful. I pray the Lord will draw close to you, shine his face on you and bring you peace. I pray for the vision you have, that it will come to pass. I also pray for your situation at home, that God will strengthen you and give you wisdom to know how to approach each and every challenge. Many blessings, Vicki

  2. Job 16 V16-17
    16 My face is red with WEEPING,
    and on my eyelids is deep darkness,
    17 although there is no violence in my hands,
    and MY PRAYER IS PURE.

    Psalm 6
    O Lord, Deliver My Life
    To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith.
    A Psalm of David.
    Psalm 6
    1 O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
    nor discipline me in your wrath.
    2 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
    HEAL me, O Lord, for my bones are TROUBLED.
    3 My soul also is GREATLY TROUBLED.
    But you, O Lord—HOW LONG?
    4 Turn, O Lord, deliver my life;
    save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
    5 For in death there is no remembrance of you;
    in Sheol who will give you praise?
    6 I am WEARY with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with TEARS;
    I drench my couch with my WEEPING.
    7 My eye wastes away because of GRIEF;
    it grows WEAK because of all my foes.
    8 DEPART from me, all you workers of evil,
    for the Lord has heard the sound of my WEEPING.
    9 The Lord has heard my plea;
    the Lord accepts my PRAYER.
    10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled;
    they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

  3. Prayer for the Day
    Monday, 28 February 2022
    Almighty Father,
    whose Son was revealed in majesty
    before he suffered death upon the cross:
    give us grace to perceive his glory,
    that we may be strengthened to suffer with him
    and be changed into his likeness, from glory to glory;
    who is alive and reigns with you,
    in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
    one God, now and for ever.
    Amen.
    https://www.churchofengland.org/prayer-and-worship/join-us-service-daily-prayer/todays-prayer

  4. Shalom Vicki

    I tried to post a reply on “One Day we’ll Slow Down, but until then….” & received this message

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    Please contact the server administrator at webmaster@lifeinallitsfullness.blog to inform them of the time this error occurred, and the actions you performed just before this error.

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