I’ve recently found my head swirling with long forgotten thoughts, thoughts so deeply buried, so intentionally hidden that their surfacing has rocked me. It’s got me thinking about the solutions the world offers to help us cope with emotional and mental pain and then to consider how, as Christians, we might respond in these situations.

Memories from childhood are often a blur of loosely connected events, combined to create a recipe of flavours unique to each child, some sweet and some which leave a bitter taste. Even within the same family, memories are interpreted through the individual lens of each member, each affected differently by the events and people surrounding them.

Our present reality cannot be experienced outside of the confines of our mind’s childhood memories. Sometimes we subconsciously mirror our own childhood and other times we will seek to live in the opposite way, with the intention of breaking away from the past and living in a new and better way.

If our childhood was unhappy the world tells us that our past will forever disable our future. Modern psychology doesn’t fit Jesus into the equation; they just add adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) together and the number produced (0-10) will tell you whether or not you will have a happy and successful life. I’ve done the quiz and I know that there is hope beyond their prognosis.

The outcome for adults who have suffered many ACEs is a cocktail of mental health issues, addictions and physical ailments. Even with years of therapy, CBT and various drugs, the prognosis for such individuals is grim. There’s a better way though, a way which offers freedom from the past. It’s a way that Mary Magdalene found and we can find it too. That way is found through Jesus Christ.

Jesus didn’t just come to save us from our sins, but also to heal our wounds. ‘He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds’ Psalm 147:3, Jesus came, ‘to set the oppressed free’, Luke 4:18 and ‘He daily bears our burdens’, Psalm 68:19.

When we have gone through pain, we don’t need to suffer alone, but we can take our memories and ask Jesus to the heal the consequences of those experiences. He won’t just put a sticking plaster over them, but he will wash them and His love will gradually soothe them and heal them, so that these events don’t break us, but they become the conduit for his love to us and through us, to others. Our suffering, when put into the hands of Jesus transforms into something extraordinary.

Our suffering is never wasted; instead he uses it to shape us, to soften us and in our vulnerability we can honestly say that we are nothing without Christ. It is at that point of vulnerability that he can truly be glorified through us. It’s at the end of our healing journey that we see the beauty in what he’s allowed, for it is then that, ‘we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God’ (2 Corinthians 1:4).

Practically speaking though, how do we move forward, when memories from the past begin to overwhelm us, and we feel like we’re drowning? With Jesus as our guide, prayer becomes even more essential, for in the darkness we must cling to the light, even if it seems to be just a glimmer. Sometimes we only have the strength for an arrow prayer, but, however small our prayerful offering, God hears and answers.

During my darkest nights, as I’ve lain awake with memories knotting together in my stomach, I have recited Psalm 23 over and over. One night recently I was doing this and I got up, opened my Bible, with the hope of some comfort and immediately fell upon Psalm 23. Yes, he was there during that night and as the Psalmist says, ‘he restores my soul’. There is no greater peace than the certainty of knowing that God sees you and cares about everything you’re going through. That morning I wept, as the feeling of safety engulfed me, safe in the arms of the One who saw everything and weeps with me.

He’s not just there for me, but for you too. If you are going through your own ‘valley of the shadow of death’, please know that Jesus is with you and he’ll get you through this. You aren’t alone.

If I can pray for you, please let me know in the comments.

Sending blessings to you all, Vicki

If you want to receive regular updates on the blog, please subscribe, you can also follow us on Instagram at goldbyfamilybusydays.

9 thoughts on “Healing from the Pain of Childhood Memories

  1. Praise God for your God given gift of words, & your willingness to use them Vicki

    Your offer to pray for others is gratefully accepted, please pray (with me) for all those who are palliative caregivers to those suffering with dementia, & for their demented loved ones

    My prayer is for God to either heal my loved one. Or to end their suffering, & take them home to glory, for our Lord assures us ” In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2 KJV

    May God bless you all as we pray for one another in constant hope & supplication

    Romans 12:12 KJV Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing in prayer

  2. My mother was an orphan, (it is thought her mother was a prostitute running a brothel in Brighton during the interwar years). Mum was brought up with her sisters in the C of E children’s home cottages for orphans in Southampton. Never having a loving family herself she probably didn’t know what it was to create a proper loving family environment for my twin brother & myself. However she was an extremely devout born again Christian who instilled in us the wrath of God is the penalty of sin, my brother & I lived, & were brought up in the shadow of fear. She constantly argued & fought with my father, in the end she ran off with a man from the Elim Church, who turned out to be a chronic gambler, bigot & a wife abuser

    My father was totally estranged from his family, so coupled with Mum’s lack of family I have virtually no relatives (they say “what you don’t have you don’t miss”)

    I am managed to bury in my mind living in the shadow of fear from God which was instilled in me, & fear of my Mother. It wasn’t until my Father died & thereafter my Mother died that these suppressed memories came back. Eliminating memories from my brain is how I have survived mental anguish & pain, which I continue to do so with the help of God, with the empathises on a loving, companionate, forgiving God, & choosing to playdown the wrath of God who declares the penalty of sin is death

    ” James 5:16 clearly says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” God assures us that while our relationship with him is personal, it’s not private. Because we’re a body, what we do in our personal lives affects our brothers and sisters in Christ. Knit together by the Holy Spirit, how we live affects the rest of the body. How, then, can we speak the truth to one another “in love” and “not lie to one another” if we don’t speak honestly about our sins (Eph. 4:25; Col. 3:9)?”
    The above extract is taken from
    Please copy & paste it to read further, should you so wish

    Tearful memories, but on the positive side, pain & suffering brings us closer to God as we rely upon on him, as Jesus Christ our Saviour did through his pain & suffering.

    “Then said Jesus,Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…” Luke 23:24

    • Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s very raw and honest. When you wrote that the memories only resurfaced after both your parents died, that really resonated with me because that’s when my memories started to return. It feels like, in part, we suppress negative memories of those we love in an effort to continue to respect them. You are in my prayers as is the one you care for. Vicki

    • Thank you for your words, I love to hear from you. It really does take a lifetime to grow into the people God wants us to be, and I see how much he uses the difficulties to shape us, even though we’d rather avoid them. Blessing, Vicki

  3. Thanks so much for your post. I hadn’t heard of Aces, but out of interest I just did the test on my husband’s behalf and it was a 5. The battle with depression is very hard. We are both thankful for Jesus’ hope and would love your prays.

    • That’s so difficult. You and your husband will be in my prayers. I pray that Jesus will carry you through the hard days and bring his joy and peace into the brokenness.

  4. Almighty God,
    whose most dear Son went not up to joy but first he suffered pain,
    and entered not into glory before he was crucified:
    mercifully grant that we, walking in the way of the cross,
    may find it none other than the way of life and peace;
    through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord,
    who is alive and reigns with you,
    in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
    one God, now and for ever.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>