There’s a great TV series that has been an enormous success, it’s called ‘The Chosen’, perhaps you’ve seen it? It’s about 12 unlikely men, a few women and the man they follow. In the series, the disciples become real men to us, not just names on a page. They have flaws and failings and yet Jesus chooses them. It reminds us that Jesus doesn’t take the polished and the perfect and use them, he takes the broken and the bruised and works through them. The people God chooses to follow him are sinners, messy, imperfect people who often don’t feel up to the mission, but who trust that God loves them and will not forsake them.
I am always aware that I am personally not good enough for the mission he gave me. He called me to be the mum of ten big characters, people who often all want to be the boss and many of whom don’t want to listen to wise counsel. This rabble I’m raising are hard to teach, loveable, frustrating and yet these are the blessings God chose for me. He clearly knew how much I needed to grow in patience and he is constantly giving me opportunities to grow! I am not a natural leader, or a natural organiser, I am carer, but that isn’t enough. When my husband is working, I am in charge and it is only by God’s grace that I am able to do that which is not in my nature. As my children grow from children to teens and into adulthood I am having to assert myself in unfamiliar ways and I’m discovering my failings every day.
As we sat around the lounge last night having Bible time, I had 9 young people looking to me, 9 people who had various degrees of interest, ability and concentration and for a brief moment I knew that Jesus had once felt a little bit like me. Jesus had 12 young people who had big personalities, were hard to teach and made lots of mistakes, and yet Jesus never gave up, he forgave them and he kept repeating the same messages. If Jesus had followers who were unruly and hard to teach, then why should I be any different? And in that moment I knew that there was only one way I was going to be able to move forward and that would be with his help.
Perhaps you feel ill equipped for a task? I can only speak from experience, but I am learning that Jesus can do more than we ever ask or imagine if we only lean on him and not on our own understanding.