Author: Vicki Goldby

For all parents stressed out by Home Ed

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

This is for all parents who are currently ready to tear their hair out with children at home all day and struggling with home schooling.

I wrote this poem 10 years ago when I had little experience home educating and 4 children 7 and under, and no big children to help me. Some days still feel like this, but now I know that they pass and that I learn to be more patient through every trial I go through.

REMEMBER TO PRAY

I feel the fight,
From the start of the day,
I don’t want to get up,
I try to delay.

Then the children descend,
In great one big heap,
It’s not fair I cry,
I just want to sleep.

I feel in my soul,
There’s a battle within,
And prayer is my weapon,
With which God can win.

The battle continues,
As schoolwork commences,
My son has a strop,
He puts up his defences.

‘I don’t like this work,
I won’t do it today,
This is too hard,’
I hear him say.

I know he can do it,
It’s just so frustrating ,
What more can I try,
To be motivating?

Every day I wish he’d,
Work on his own,
But he just isn’t ready,
To do it alone.

So once I accept,
He wants me by his side,
My frustration and anger,
Begin to subside.

A new challenge arises,
As toddlers unite,
They’ve been making a mess,
I’m not up for the fight.

There’s dolls, clothes and puzzles,
There’s pens, books and toys,
I can’t hear myself think,
Above the noise.

So I call out to Jesus,
Turn frustration to prayer,
And the day turns around,
As He carries my cares.

So tomorrow I’ll learn,
And remember to pray,
For the strength and the patience,
To do it God’s way.

Cosy Winter Nights

Posted on by Vicki Goldby
Our favourite winter read has taken on a new relevance this year.

One routine for which I am truly grateful is our evening story time. At about 8pm every evening, once the littlest two are in bed, we settle down in front of the log burner to soak ourselves into the world of this nineteenth century family, as they seek to survive during the coldest winter they had known.

I first read this book to our oldest two sons about eight years ago and it has found a firm place in our winter reading library. This year the story spoke to us, in our current situation, as we read of Pa, Ma, Laura, Mary, Carrie and little Grace, trapped in their homes, with school cancelled and little to do each day. Our grumblings are daily put in check as we read of frozen ceiling nails, needing to eat only twice a day due to lack of food and a lack of heat and light.

We are very grateful, on these cold winter nights to have a cosy place to read and cuddle by. We have recently added a safety gate around the log burner, to protect little fingers.

I have found myself wondering from time to time what Ma and Pa would make of our current situation. I have laughed as I have thought how ridiculous they would find smart phones and all day distractions from technology. Pa was quite sceptical of progress, he thought it made you dependent on others. He probably had a point. As our family seeks to be more self sufficient, we are daily reminded of how much we do not know and how many skills have been lost to ‘progress.’

We are trying to embrace the best of the new, with ground source heating, insulation, electric milker and washing machine, to name a few items which are hugely helpful. We are also seeking to rediscover some ‘old ways.’ We hope to find a slower pace of life, a life based around the rhythms of nature, seasons, sunrise and sunset. We have already begun this journey and already, we are feeling the benefits of this simpler life.

I recently had a Bible verse brought to mind, one that in many ways reminds us of what we are working towards. ‘This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’ Jeremiah 6:16. We often find, in the busyness of our modern life, it is harder to find time to stop and hear God’s voice, but when we follow the ancient paths, the ways of our forefathers, we stop our rushing, we put down our technological distractions and we take time to listen to him.

Some days my soul does not feel at rest, some days are just hard. On those days, if I step outside and start to work with my hands, I feel my shoulders drop, my jaw release, my mind clear and I start to see why we must pursue this goal with ever greater zeal. As the world ‘progresses’ ever faster, we are seeking after the ‘ancient paths’, there we will find rest for our souls.

Keeping Little Hands Out of Mischief

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

When I saw this photo my eyes were drawn to the children playing happily, but then I looked beyond at the dishes cluttering the side 😯. All I can say is that I thank God daily for my dishwasher!

Phil walked into the kitchen one day earlier this week, he snapped the above photo, he wanted to capture this moment whilst our younger children were all peacefully working together.

You see our house isn’t always harmonious, the day is punctuated with emotions, some joy felt and some portraying the hurt feelings bubbling over. Sometimes one sibling has frustrated another and often I pause to handle another dispute. Phil suggested I could finish my career working for the UN in a peace keeping position, as I have gained much practice in this discipline!

On this particular day though I had discovered the playdough which had been hidden at the back of the fridge and pulled out the shapes and cutters. Hours later, the children were still busy making ‘biscuits’ and other baked delights for their ‘shop’. The peace this new distraction brought was a welcome relief after the persistent requests of, ‘Mummy, what can I do next?’ I have often found the best way to keep children interested in toys is to hide them for a while, then when they are pulled out the novelty gives them a new lease of life; I hadn’t intentionally hidden the playdough though, it had just got buried beneath the other fridge items(my less than perfect housewife skills can sometimes swing in my favour 😉.)

I have that the found the intensity of lockdown life has been quite challenging. Although we have much to do here, the children still look to me as their entertainment director. Not a day goes by when I am not asked what we are doing, what’s for meals and what our plans are for tomorrow. This is often a guilt ridden experience as I realise that I have nothing new and exciting planned, but it drives me to creativity.

As home educators, our life was once filled with groups and clubs, but now the days blend and the only structure to our days is family church on a Sunday. We are trying to add in new activities for each day. So far we have gardening on a Friday and shopping on a Saturday, with the park on a Sunday afternoon. This still leaves me on a Monday wondering how I will fill the next four days and ring the changes to prevent lockdown boredom sinking in.

With the weather having improved this week we have been outside more and I have enjoyed watching the new buds appearing on the trees. As each new bud springs forth I am filled with a renewed hope that all things change and this is just a season.

I have been seeking this week to make the most of this season, to get our home in order. We hope, God willing, to have friends to stay in the Haybarn this summer and so I am working hard to get the house and garden in a better shape for any visitors. Doing anything with little ones is slow though, they do so love to ‘help’! With nowhere else to go though I am in no hurry, so I am learning to slow down and see the world with the same wonder as the smallest children, cherishing everything as a new discovery. Nature isn’t the only thing to bring them wonder though. The contents of our cupboards, unrolling toilet rolls and emptying cereal boxes seem to provide little ones with equal excitement, when my back is turned! Mummy finds the clearing up slightly less entertaining though🧹😬.

Maybe next week I’ll get something done, something solid I can tick off my list, something that goes beyond the daily tasks. Or maybe I will learn to just enjoy the day and be grateful for this calmer season with less activities to distract us and cause us to rush around. This season will pass, but God is using this season, these quieter days, to prepare us, in all ways, for the days ahead.

Children are a Gift

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

‘Behold, children are a gift of the Lord’ Psalm 127:3

A Gift from the King

Reflecting on each baby’s birth,
The beginning of their life on earth,
The day when I beheld in awe,
What did their future have in store?

The potential that each new life brings,
A gift for us from Christ our King,
Not just for us, but all the broken,
His love for us through life is spoken.

Each child is given for a purpose,
Not one life on earth is surplus,
Each child is made in God’s good hands,
Their life is part of God’s great plan.

Each new child can fulfil the goal,
The reason for their heart and soul,
If the One they seek is Jesus’ face,
They’ll make the world a better place.

Screen Detox Solution

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

All of our lives are all full of screens at the moment. Many of us are spending hours on Zoom or Teams or social media. What is a parent to do when our children’s lives are ruled by screens?

Our family’s solutions have been hobbies, as well as our normal family mealtimes and going outside for as much fresh air as we can manage (the recent snow was very motivating for sledging and snowman building).

It is only Jonathan and Madeleine, who are doing online school and who spend many hours every school day on a screen, so we tailored our solutions to their unique personalities. Jonathan has turned one of our stables into a worskshop, where he has been busy creating mobile phone stands and working on his GCSE Design and Technology project.

Jonathan’s been experimenting with different styles for his mobile phone stands. Once he’s perfected them they might be added to Madeleine’s shop.

This is a scale model of Jonathan’s final design and technology piece.

Madeleine has set up an online business, making headbands, which is developing her business and sewing skills simultaneously. Although this initially required a little screen time to set it up, it is now up and running and her time is spent sewing and coming up with new product ideas.


This is one of the styles of headband Madeleine is making. Do visit her shop at
https://maddies-homemade-crafts.square.site

    It was through reading an article in the papers today about the toxic effects of screen time and the potential long term damage that got me thinking about this subject. I was inspired to write the following poem.

    LOOK UP!

    Screens control us,
    They shape our lives,
    Without our screens,
    Could we survive?

    Our minds are ruled,
    By pings and apps,
    As all day long,
    Our fingers tap.

    Our children watch us,
    Learn our ways,
    We must look up,
    Without delay.

    Turn off the tech,
    And take a walk,
    Spend time together,
    Make space to talk.

    Look What we Uncovered!

    Posted on by Vicki Goldby

    Our journey towards self sufficiency has recently led to the conversion of our heating system. Our oil fired boiler, which was at least 30 years old has now been replaced with ground source heating, (Phil’s planning to do a separate, more practical post on this subject 😊).

    We do have a lovely home, but it is one which rather leaks heat. We do plan on fixing this problem over the next few months, but in the meantime I am becoming a huge fan of thermals! The children and Phil don’t seem to feel the cold though, I think I must just have poor circulation.

    Today was a turning point towards that much dreamed of warmer house, as our log burner was fitted. In the space where our old boiler dwelt within a 1980s kitchen cupboard, was a space calling for renovation. Behind the cupboard front was an alcove, with a chimney directly above it, just waiting for a log burner. I suspect, thinking back to the original building, it would have been used for the stove. In a way we are taking the alcove back to its original purpose, especially as we have a cooking plate; tonight it was used for curry, but we have plans for porridge, pancakes and maybe a wood fired pizza?!

    When we ripped out the old boiler we uncovered the beautiful tiles which had been hidden for decades, since the addition of central heating to the house. We both agreed that we didn’t want to replace them, as we wanted to keep part of the old farmhouse. The wall tiles were just in need of a clean, but the floor tiles were covered in thick layers of paint that required chemicals, a wire brush on a drill and a knife to chip off the last of the paint.

    What we have uncovered and restored has brought beauty and warmth to our home. We have created a place where people can gather and breathe deeply, as the warmth draws them in; but this was not achieved without painstaking work. Chipping the paint off the tiles was a slow and sometimes painful job, but the end result has made the effort all worthwhile. It reminds me of how God wants to uncover in each of us, the hidden beauty within. He helps us to remove the facade, that we put in place to convince the world we are worthwhile, and he reveals our inner beauty. This is not an overnight process, but it takes a lifetime of God slowly and lovingly, often through our discomforts, ‘chipping’ away our old self to reveal the people he created us to be; people who will be carriers of his light and his warmth into people’s lives.

    •  

    Learning to Trust – Our House Moving Testimony

    Posted on by Vicki Goldby

    I want to share with you all, a true story of a life once broken and yet beautifully restored by the Master Craftsman himself. It’s a story which culminates in a particular testimony of his provision, but which first needs a framework of a life offered into his hands. Grab a cuppa and settle down to hear the testimony of a girl who gave her life to Jesus.

    I have known our living God, Jesus Christ for nearly 30 years and knowing him has revolutionised my life. The more I have laid my life in his hands and trusted it to him, the more he has entered into my life and filled it with his plans, his love and his peace.

    There was a time when I dreamed of an easy, safe life. A life without risk, a life I could predict, a life where my heart could not be broken. You see Mum died when I was 14, my heart chose to stop feeling; when pain is that great it is hard for a child to process it, and so I locked away the pain, along with my heart. Eight months later I met Christ. I was alone at home and in my brokenness I found a booklet left out by my sister, who was a Christian. The booklet explained the way to Christ. The words jumped out of the page and I knew them to be true. At that moment I gave my life to him. From that time on, Jesus and I have ridden a rollercoaster together; he has held my hand through the highs and the lows, sometimes I have closed my eyes as the ride has taken my breath away, but he has never left me.

    Throughout my teenage years I gave my love to Christ, but not to any other, so afraid was I of losing anyone else whom I loved. Then I met the man who was to be my husband and everything changed. Step by step I learnt to love and as we fell in love with each other, we fell deeper in love with God. God was drawing us together as he had a very special plan for us. He took two sinners with plans of their own, he ripped those up and asked them to trust him. Day by day we are learning to trust, to step out in faith, and he continually proves to us that he is more than able to make our offering into something beautiful.

    We never planned on having a big family, four children was the most we ever talked about, but God had other plans! He gradually opened up our eyes to the beauty of trusting him with our family size and, baby by baby, we learnt again that he has the best plan. We sent our first two boys to school, but again God intervened. I first caught the vision for home education and shared it with Phil, who promptly reminded me that we were conventional and would not be doing that! I persisted with my request for a while, but eventually he asked me to not bring it up again, and so I just prayed. I asked God that if it was his will that we should home educate, then please could he get Phil to ask me if we could home educate. Miraculously, two months later, with hardly another word from me, that’s just what he did. Twelve years later and we have never looked back. On the hardest days we know that this is God’s will for us. I did not have to pressure Phil into it, the Holy Spirit is far stronger than me and any nagging I would have done would have been counterproductive. I was learning to surrender to God’s ways.

    Eight babies later and our 1500 sq ft house was bursting at the seams. We do not have quiet children; they are energetic and immensely creative and practical, they needed space to move, explore and create. God knows them better than we do though and had a great plan, but this was to be our greatest test yet. Oh how we struggled through this one, but oh what a testimony we have to share!

    From the time we decided to move house until we finally moved into our new home, was 2 years. That was 2 years of God reassuring us that this was his plan and even when it looked completely unlikely that it would work out, we were to hold on. Often Phil would ask me what I thought God wanted us to do and all I could gather was that he wanted us to wait. It wasn’t much to go on, but we held onto that word.

    We found a house we thought could be right, but that quickly fell through. God did not waste this disappointment though. During our visit to the property, God had given me a vision, a vision of a courtyard with different rooms off it, a barn for community activities and workshops for woodwork, clay and sewing, I saw other people using our property – a sort of refuge from the world. As God closed the door of that property, I stored up that vision in my heart. Seven months later the property which fulfilled that vision was revealed to us.

    We had decided that the best way to choose our new home would be to find a church first and then find the house. As I was browsing the Internet one evening I happened upon this property for sale, only 4 miles from our chosen church. My eyes were immediately drawn to the barn complex and I knew this could be the property God was calling us to. We immediately arranged a viewing. With eight children in tow and a 4 hour journey in the minibus, we visited the house. It seemed to me like a house in waiting, a house not yet fulfilling its created purpose, in fact even the owner caught our vision and understood our heart’s desire to fill this home with love. I knew this was what God had shown me 7 months earlier and so our focus became greater for selling our property to buy this one. We thought this was it and we would now be released to move, but God, as ever, had other plans.

    In the meantime we had our ninth baby. Our daughter was born safely into her Daddy’s arms, in our living room, as she arrived before the midwife did! With a newborn baby we continued to tidy our house for viewings, each time building up our hopes and each time being told no, it was not for them. The house we had set our heart on was still for sale and so we held on in hope. We contacted the sellers to see it they had had any other interest in their property and they told us they had turned down four other offers because they believed we were the right family for the house, wow! It was amazing because they didn’t share our faith and yet God had touched their hearts.

    As weeks rolled by we continued to drop the price of our house with the hope of a sale, but only to be continually disappointed. Why had God given us such a vision if he was not going to fulfil it? Now we understand, but at the time we were walking blindly by faith, trusting that we were not wasting our time or our emotional energy.

    Finally a family walked through our door who immediately fell in love with our home and the deal was done, but the battle for our new home was just beginning. We discovered, after the survey, that the house had multiple problems, each costing more than we could afford, especially now that we had had to drop the price on our home to gain our sale. We had to ask the vendor for a reduction on the price, to reflect the extra work required. He was not happy and refused to agree to our request. Three weeks of bartering began and 2 years of waiting hung in the balance. We eventually decided that we would agree to walk away from the purchase if necessary, and it was then that release came and the ball started rolling and an agreement was reached. We learnt that God sometimes wants us to let go of things in order for him to give it back to us and nothing should ever become a greater goal than following Christ, even to something we think he is calling us to.

    As the packing then began in earnest, Phil started to speak of the animals we could keep and the smallholding we could develop. This had not been part of my vision, although I fully supported it, as I was aware of our lack of experience in this area. So I began to search for local courses, near our new home, which could teach us the skills we would need. Whilst looking, something caught my eye. It was an advert for a new TV programme about moving to the country, including an offer of help to get started with livestock. Was this what God was calling us to next? We prayerfully pushed the door and God quickly opened it and our journey to make a programme about our new life in the country began.

    We are so thankful for this opportunity, as it has opened so many doors to share the gospel, share the joys of large family living and speak about our God who provides. The timing of our programme’s airing coincided with the UK’s first lockdown. Everyone in Britain was suddenly plunged into a world of home educating and many were developing a strong desire to escape to the country, so our programme, which focused on our desire to teach our children through a more practical lifestyle, was perfectly timed for the situation. God’s timing for our house move was perfectly orchestrated and this was further evidence of his hand.

    The programme supported us as we started our self sufficiency journey. Due to this support we were perfectly prepared for the lockdown. We had chickens for eggs, a cow who had recently delivered her calf and was producing 15 litres of milk a day and pigs who went off to the abattoir the day before lockdown was announced, and thus we had a freezer full of pork. What provision from our Lord for our burgeoning and hungry brood! He truly is Jehovah Jireh, our God who provides.

    We have given this property into God’s hands and have already been given multiple opportunities to use it for his purposes. During the summer months, when the lockdown was temporarily lifted, we were able to host many families, in our separate accommodation, for their ‘alternative’ summer break. How lovely it was to have a place for fellowship during this crisis. We were even able to have campfires and, while churches were banned from singing, we were able to worship God with other believers, outside in the beauty of his Creation. We also share the produce we grow and have managed to exchange milk for our Christmas turkey, who was free ranging at our neighbours!

    At the beginning of our house sale journey, I had asked God to give us an opportunity to share the testimony of our move – what opportunities we have been given! We have shared our story of God’s provision and perfect timing at church, a home education conference, on National television and in the National press. I just thought maybe God would give us the chance to share our testimony at our new church, but I have discovered that when you ask God for something, he loves to give, in abundance!

    As a world, we are all currently walking through the strangest times and yet I know that God has been busy preparing each one of us for this moment. It is not just us who have been called by God. Each of God’s children has been called to unique locations, for such a time as this. Whether we live in the town or the country, God has a mission for each of us. We just need to pray and trust that each journey is unique and perfectly planned by the One who knows best. As Jim Elliot, the missionary, famously said, ‘God always gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him.’

    When I was 14 I could see no way forward, only the brokenness left by grief. God took that brokenness and brought from it a beautiful story of his love for me. He wants to do that for everyone, we just need to reach out and trust him.

    Our Cows, the Centre of our Smallholding

    Posted on by Vicki Goldby

    We didn’t come to this house planning to own a cow. We thought of pigs and chickens, but a cow seemed a step too far! Then we were informed by our eldest son that his boss, at the farm where he worked, had a cow that would be just right for us, and she was in calf. It seemed that maybe we were being led in this direction? Months past and we prayed about whether or not this was a good idea.

    Phil was particularly keen because he had read that the cow was the centre of the smallholding. We understood that the cow provided the milk, butter, cream and cheese as well as surplus milk going to the pigs. Her manure would go on the vegetable garden and we could raise her calves for meat. In theory we could see the advantages. The disadvantages were ever present in our mind though. We were very conscious of the extra work and responsibility that owning a cow and her calf would bring.

    As the time for the calf to be born was drawing nearer, we had to make a decision. Mary (as she was already named), could be sold for beef, or could come and live and work with us. Christopher, our son who farms, held our hands throughout the decision. He volunteered to build her pen, fix the fences, bring silage over from the farm where he works and teach us to milk her. This son to whom we have taught so much, has now taught us! With the decision agreed upon Mary came to live here.

    A beautiful card featuring Mary and Martha, painted by our lovely neighbour.

    Her calving was thankfully easy, and Martha the calf arrived unaided. I did need to give a little hand though, to help the calf to begin suckling. My breastfeeding experience came in handy, as I understood the need for Lansinoh, the dangers of mastitis and the need for mum and baby to get off to a good start 🙂. Within a few days the early feeding glitches were ironed out. Next it was time to learn how to milk her. We had been lent a portable milker. This proved to be invaluable, as we weren’t very efficient at hand milking! We now have bought one of our own.

    In the early days we milked Mary twice daily, but after a while reduced it to once, as her calf’s needs increased. We now milk once a day in the mornings, around 8.30 am.

    At first we got ALOT of milk, around 15 litres, we didn’t know what to do with it all. Her cream was like pure Cornish clotted cream for the first couple of months, and then as her calf grew it changed to something more like double cream. We have had a go at making butter and mozzarella and regularly make our own yoghurt.

    Once her calf grew to about 6 months, we noticed the amount of milk we were getting was dwindling. Her calf was filling out and not leaving us with much. We asked some farm friends and they recommended trying a nose flap, to encourage her to wean. In the dairy industry the calves are weaned at about 6-8 weeks, so we knew that she was able to move on without causing her any harm. This plan was thwarted though, as Martha expertly figured out how to feed with it on, so it was back to the drawing board. Next we were recommended a weaning spike, but this was no deterrent and a tilt of her head meant easy access to milk was resumed! Our last hope was separating them over night. So once we began to feel the cooler air of autumn we knew it was time to bring them into the covered pen. Christopher built an addition for Martha to sleep in at night, with a gate between the two of them. This technique proved successful. Martha has continued to feed all day and then at night she sleeps in the pen next to Mary. Mary has a peaceful night’s sleep and the following morning she is ready to be milked.

    We get between 4 and 7 litres of milk now each day. This is the perfect amount for our family’s milk and yoghurt needs, with some left over to share with our neighbours from time to time. We have chosen to pasteurise the milk, although, once we no longer have young children we might leave it raw.

    The portable milker

    The work of milking, washing up the milker, pasteurising, feeding, bedding and bottling takes about one and a half hours a day. Phil, who had previously only owned one gerbil, joyfully takes on the bulk of this work. I often stand amazed at the changes I see in him. I married a man who was very happy to sit on a commuter train every morning of the week, and now he spends his mornings milking a cow! He has really embraced everything about this life, but I do feel a particular warmth when I watch him pat Mary, as he wishes her good morning. There a respect between the two of them. Mary is very strong, but she understands who’s boss. Phil is equally respectful of her hormones and natural instincts and gives her space when she needs it. (He has obviously learnt much from being married to me😉.)

    Transferring the milk into the instant pot we use for pasteurising.

    We love owning Mary and Martha and are very grateful that God has provided all the support we have needed to learn to care for them. Our next task is to help get her back in calf. Phil is now learning about the hormonal cycles of a cow and has the AI (artificial insemination) man on speed dial. Hopefully next month we’ll time it just right. We’ll keep you posted.

    Hannah and Phil bedding up the cows. Hannah is one of our keenest little farmers, full of confidence and enthusiasm.

    A Quilt Stitched with Love

    Posted on by Vicki Goldby

    Nineteen years ago, in the quieter days before children, I joined a local quilting class. We were taught all we needed to know to hand make the above twenty square sampler quilt. Before we were quite finished the quilt the shop shut and our quilts remained unfinished. Shortly after this I gave birth to our firstborn and my quilt was popped in the back of a cupboard.

    It got its next outing when our second child was waiting to be born. During those cold winter nights, when waiting for a baby seemed to go on and on, I would quilt a square or two.

    Somehow, without intention, a tradition began. In the third trimester, of each subsequent pregnancy, I would begin to nest and out would come the quilt. Twenty squares were made and bound, but each needed ‘glueing’ together with tiny quilting stitches. These stitches aren’t just the glue which binds the quilt together, they are woven with care to form a pattern on the front and the back.

    Nine babies on and my quilt is nearly complete. Each stitch has been sewn with a prayer, that our family would be ‘glued’ together by our love for God and for one another. I have prayed that each child would know that, just like the squares on the quilt, they are each different, but each beautiful and each made for a purpose.

    It’s been nearly two years since our last baby, and with no signs of any more blessings at this point, I am wondering whether it is time to finish the quilt. The edges need binding and some squares need a bit more work. It reminds me that our family will always need my prayers, always need a little more work and always need to be bound together in love for God and one another.

    I think I know what I must do now with these cold winter evenings. It’s time to finish what I began, and simply enjoy the gift of creating something, made with love.