Author: Vicki Goldby

Our Jobs System

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

I recently found this article I wrote for a magazine, several years ago, when we had six children. I found it interesting to reflect back on how life has or hasn’t changed since then. We still follow the same jobs system that I talk about in the article, although since moving house my whiteboard is still yet to go up, so I use a piece of paper instead. Otherwise, I can honestly say that this system has been a life changer. Thanks to the Lord for the hard days which push us to find new solutions.

‘Let me paint a picture of an average moment in my life a year ago. Lunch finishes and children scatter, all five to different parts of the house where each creates a mess a tornado could be proud of. When boredom sets in, they change to another room producing more tornado like behaviour! Before I know it, my post lunch cup of tea has led to 10 messes spread throughout the whole house. All manner of disasters from toddler doodles on the walls, little girls’ dresses all over the bedroom floor, and boys experiments with water leading to a bathroom flood! I’m left with a kitchen to clean up and mess in every other room. Aghh!


I asked God for help and strength but as I still had my human strength I tended to rely on that. The tidy up begins and as quickly as I tidy they made another mess. With five little whirl- winds I could never keep up. It suddenly struck me I was doing it all, all the cleaning, and all the tidying. Then a thought came to me. If I should find myself expecting again I would have to toughen up a bit and get them helping, but how?


It was soon necessary to start figuring out an answer as baby number six was now on the way! Within days of finding out I was pregnant the exhaustion set in. There wasn’t a moment in the day for the next eight months when I didn’t want to crawl into bed, plus enduring the dizziness and nausea. God had me right where he wanted me, for when I am weak He is strong.

I asked God again for help and it came through a friend at church who gave me an old portable whiteboard. This whiteboard and my rocking chair became “household HQ.” After every meal I would write up all the little messes I could see around me. I broke them down into child-size pieces and they could choose which to clean up. We had a system to make it fair. The youngest three got to choose the easiest jobs first and the two eldest would take it in turns to pick a job off the list. I put their initial next to the job and they crossed if off when completed. It included tasks such as: clear table, wipe side, laundry on, empty tumble drier, pick up five toys, empty bottom of the dishwasher etc.

The key elements of this system were small jobs, choice for the children, and consistency. Ironically, my exhaustion was the best thing that happened to me as now my children know how to clean up after themselves. I had no choice but to step back and let them learn.

Now, the scene in our house after lunch is much prettier. The children are keen to choose their jobs and get them done, then it’s free time. If they didn’t want to work, they would get an extra job. This kept them motivated!

I used to wonder how I could keep up with lots of children while pregnant, but God showed me that when I am weak He is strong. To my friend, it was just an unused whiteboard, but God used it to answer my prayer for help.’

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How to Find 5 minutes Peace with lots of Young Children

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

Is it possible, is it necessary? Is it selfish or an opportunity to use the gifts God’s given us? Should we feel guilty taking time away from our families? What’s the best way to rejuvenate? These are the questions that I have asked myself as I have wrestled with my personal needs over the years. I may not have found a perfect balance, but I am content for now.

There is a school of thought, a fairly puritanical one, which would suggest me time is a selfish pursuit and one avoided until our families need us less. The opposing viewpoint is that mum’s need space away from their children, in order to recharge, and deserve some time out. I try to take a balanced view. Despite popular opinion, my views aren’t so conservative that I would banish womankind to a life of slavery to the kitchen sink and their husband’s will. I wholeheartedly believe that we are all created for a purpose and until we fulfil that we will forever feel unsatisfied and in need of ‘me time’.

I am immensely grateful that God has given me the opportunity to be be me, in every sense of the word. I was created to care, to love, to write, to communicate and to glorify God through my life. Fulfilling my created purpose takes away the need for me to escape my life in order to ‘find myself’. I believe one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is the chance to discover who they are created to be. It is a gift to ourselves and our families when we are content in the knowledge that we are doing what God created us to do.

How does this all work out in reality? How do I find time to write and to devote time to seeking an ever deepening relationship with my Saviour? My priorities are God first, husband second, children third and then other people and activities. By putting these priorities in place I find things largely fall into place with less stress.

On waking I pray before I open my eyes. I give thanks and then bring our day before the Lord. I follow this with Bible reading which the children join in if they come into my room. I nourish my deeper relationship with God on a moment by moment basis. Much as Brother Lawrence, the seventeenth century monk found, as he worked in the kitchens, prayer is more than words, it is an inward turning of our thoughts to God. In every moment we have the choice, to go it alone or to go into that situation with the knowledge that God is with us. When we choose to take this attitude, everything changes, as we walk in His strength, not in our own.

The children’s needs are often obvious, as they are in front of my eyes, but Phil’s needs are easier to ignore, so I go out of my way to meet them, knowing he will rarely ask me for much. We try to catch moments together, a cup of tea in the sunshine, walking the dog up the drive, or cuddling on the sofa in the late evening. We also have ‘date night’ at least once a week. We chat and eat together and normally end up watching TV for an hour. It’s not easy, but if we don’t intentionally make the time, we can find that level of intimacy we once shared becomes less natural and our relationship could easily become one of simply meeting the family’s practical needs.

I meet the children’s needs firstly through quiet observation. Something I learned at Norland, where I trained to care for children, was to first observe, and I guess that has stuck with me. Through observation I work out where their needs lie and then in prayer, I work out how to meet them. By doing this I am able to focus my energy where it is most needed.

How though do I meet my own needs? Those needs which aren’t purely spiritual? It’s easy to forget to eat lunch or drink enough, rest enough, shower or even run to the loo when you are caring for everyone. Is this the example we want our children to learn though? By meeting our own needs we are ‘putting on our oxygen mask first’. It’s a lesson I’m still learning, but I couldn’t have mothered for 20 years without meeting my own physical needs. Practically speaking, I used to shower the night before, when the children were in bed and I would bulk cook meals at the weekend. I now find that I don’t need to do this, as I have older children as well, but this approach did get me through the first 10 years of motherhood. I now find my evenings are often busier, being a taxi service or chatting to the the older children, but during the day there are moments that I grab that were never there when I just had littles.

As the children have grown I have found it easier to find time to write or sew, not often, but enough to ‘scratch the itch’. There are of course seasons, after the new baby comes I suspect writing will be harder to do, but we’ll see. I find the older children play with the little ones and this buys me a few precious moments.

At this moment in time, it’s 3pm on a Sunday afternoon. Madeleine is making samosas and the sampling of these delights is engaging many little hands. Some of the other children are in the garden and so I’ve grabbed the moment to write this blog.

Mums with just littles, can I encourage you. Hold on, it does get easier. You won’t always have little ones crowding round you, expecting you to be their everything. The older children grow and enjoy helping out and thus giving you that much dreamed of 5 minutes peace.

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Missionary Minded Motherhood

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

Phil and I have taken on more than we ever imagined we could. When I was younger and I would think what my life would look like, this was never the picture I had. Sure I liked children and the concept of the good life was appealing, but it was never something that I would attach to my future reality.

Before I met Phil I had thoughts of missionary life. I knew I wanted to serve God and care for children, but I didn’t consider they’d be my own, I couldn’t build myself up for that kind of disappointment, my heart would be too easily crushed if for whatever reason that had not been possible.

The call of missionary service, to share the gospel with others and to serve God wholeheartedly is something we can do as mothers, but it took me a while to understand that. We chose fairly early on in our marriage to trust God with everything, our money, home and family size. As I once heard said, ‘God gives the best to those who leave the choice to him’. For me he chose motherhood and I see it as a calling, not a distraction to any other work. Mothers often choose to leave the calling of motherhood for a vocation in Christian service, believing that to be a higher calling. Is the mission field really of greater service to God though? As Charles Spurgeon famously said,

Some women may well be called to place their children in another’s care in order to serve God, as with the parents of Eric Liddell, but many will never leave the mission field of their homes. How can we serve God with the faith of a missionary and the evangelical mind of a missionary in our homes? Let me first tell you a bit about what inspires me to serve God in this way.

Before I really knew about any famous Christians, I felt the call on my heart to give my all to Christ. As the hymn we sing in church goes, ‘I give you my life, I give you my all,’ I still can’t sing it without considering if there are any other aspects of life I need to hand over to God. It has been those Christian women who stepped out in faith and gave God their all who have inspired my journey to follow Jesus into the adventure of motherhood, without fear, to listen to his still small voice and obey him without hesitation. I have filled my heart and mind with true stories of courage and bravery in the face of adversity and it has built up my spiritual muscles as I have read about the amazing God we serve and how he continues to help his children today.

Elizabeth Elliot is one such woman. She went back into the jungle, with her toddler in tow, to share the gospel with the very people who had killed her husband. The courage that took was something only God could have given and the subsequent success of her loving evangelism was proof of God’s leading. The world would have probably considered her to be crazy, on a death mission, putting both her and her daughter’s life in jeopardy, but she ignored the world’s call and followed after the One whom she trusted above all.

Katie Davis Majors is another young woman of courage. At 19 years of age she travelled from America to Africa, giving up her western lifestyle and singlehandedly adopted and raised 13 daughters. Wow! Her God is our God and he has the strength for her and for each of us.

Gladys Aylward travelled to China, against the odds, and took 100 children to safety during WW2, travelling by foot through the mountains of China. God performed many miracles to facilitate her journeys and the same God can, if we ask him, help us today.

Looking to the Bible I have always been inspired by Moses’ mother. I can only imagine the terror she must have felt as she hid her baby for months before making his basket and letting him go into the care of God alone. What a wonderful God we serve, he gave her baby back to her and paid her to care for him! I love that story.

Helen Roseveare, Narcissa Whitman, the pilgrim mothers, Mary Slessor, Perpetua, Amy Carmichael, Katharina Luther, Corrie Ten Boom and Susanna Wesley are just some of the other women who have laid down everything for Christ and inspired me on my journey with Christ.

What do these women have in common, and what can we learn from them which would help us as we try to wholeheartedly follow God?

Above all, these are of women of faith, they trust God more than they trust the wisdom of this world, ‘For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight’, 1 Corinthians 3:19. They look to God and his Word as they consider what to do next.

How can we apply this to the arena of motherhood? Everyday we are assaulted with challenges, what to say to a discouraged teenager, how to juggle schoolwork, washing and mealtimes. Are these areas God would help us in? Absolutely! The work of a missionary isn’t all about sharing the gospel, it is often about the nitty gritty of every day life and God meets us there and grows us there. Sharing the gospel is of course one of our most important tasks as missionary minded mothers. We share it with our children, other mothers, friends, people who stop by for hospitality, people in shops, postmen, absolutely anyone! I love to share the gospel first and foremost through my behaviour, as love is the way to reach people’s hearts. I aim to start every conversation with an arrow prayer, ‘God please speak through me today and help me to love as Jesus would.’ I am always amazed at the opportunities he puts on my doorstep. One of my favourite memories was regular visits from 2 Jehovah’s Witnesses who would challenge us all to dig into Scripture to back up our viewpoint. The children would stand on the doorstep with Bibles in hand, ready to find the verses to prove Jesus was God made flesh. It grew their faith and sowed seeds into the minds of the ladies who spoke with us.

The children’s faith has grown as we have trusted God with our money. There have been times when, instead of buying a new pair of shoes for each child, we have prayed for God’s provision. We once prayed for a pair of size 5 trainers and 45 minutes later a friend turned up on our doorstep with 2 pairs of size 5 trainers (we hadn’t told her). It’s that kind of answer to prayer which helps us to show our children our God who is alive and active and thus grow their faith. God was so kind to say yes to that prayer, he often makes us wait, but we have never forgotten that moment.

As we followed God to our new home in Shropshire we could never have imagined what he had in store, but day by day he is revealing to us that our missionary journey is not over. We see more and more that we are called to share our home with others and to continue to trust in our God who has never let us down. I’d love to hear who inspires you?

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Many blessings,

Vicki

One Day we’ll Slow Down, but until then….

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

Please excuse my slowness to produce a blog over the last few weeks, I keep meaning to write, but life, as it does, has got in the way. Anyway, I thought I’d just best get on with it; my tendency towards perfectionism means I sometimes would rather write nothing instead of giving you a window into our imperfect everyday lives, which is actually the point of this blog.

We’ve been keeping busy with more building work. The second half of the house is making good progress. The first fix bathrooms and electrics are complete and yesterday the plasterers began their work. The transformation in the hallway has been wonderful, I hadn’t realised how sick I had become of looking at dull, grey breeze blocks. The pictures below show the process, with the last one revealing the beautiful beam in the eaves which will have hidden uplighting to enhance it. Once the plasterers are done we’ll move onto second fix electric, bathroom fittings, painting, flooring and finally furnishing the rooms. We’re hoping to be done within 3 months (including drying time for the plaster).

It’s been ok living in a building site, because we now have a kitchen, lounge and 4 upstairs bedrooms. The only real challenge has been toilets. We have only one finished bathroom and then a downstairs toilet with no electricity in it. If you want to use that loo in the evening then you have to take a torch! It also has a rather open plan feel, as a wall has been knocked down and round the corner there is no wall, meaning you could be disturbed by little visitors 😉.

With the limitations of toilets, I have been reluctant to embark on my next challenge, toilet training Katie, but I finally built up the courage last Monday. I’d bought her a tiny toilet, as she would probably not make it past the builders to the other toilets, and I thought it might make her feel grown up.

Anyway, whatever I did worked and she’s been dry from day one. She’ll turn 3 at the end of this month and I suspect she has been ready for a little while, but I hadn’t been feeling brave enough to tackle the potential mess. What a relief it’s been, I feel like I’ve a dodged a major bullet, having had mixed success in how long it’s taken me to toilet train the other children. All of the children have been dry before 3, but it’s certainly never been as easy as it’s been with Katie. Clearly God knows my limits!

The season of Lent is upon us. Lent is often looked upon as a Catholic practice, but having been in Anglican churches for most of our lives, we have always practiced this season of fasting, as we prepare for Easter. We find it a really helpful time to reflect on Jesus’ time of fasting in the wilderness and we spend more time drawing closer to God and less time focusing on worldly pleasures or at least that’s the goal. Do you ever give things up things for Lent?

We always try and give up something for Lent and generally it’s sugar. The guidelines are, no sugary puddings, biscuits, sweets or chocolate in the house, but if you are given them at a party or church for example, you can eat them, as we don’t want to be rude or make the children feel resentful. We do take Sundays off, as God knows we are but flesh. The children generally get creative and bake lots of honey filled, or date based puddings, so the deprivation feels fairly minimal, but it does increase their creativity. Here’s one of Stephen’s honey and blueberry muffins.

I gave up almost all sugar and 7 years ago and so I don’t partake in the sugar fast, but I did feel led to give up something. I don’t use a mobile phone or computer, but I do use an IPad and find myself distracted during the day by news articles or messages, so I decided that I would give that up during the daytime. It’s been such a blessing. For the last 2 days my brain has been more focused (thus the reason I can write again) and I’ve been more present in my everyday activities. It’s so easy to turn technology from our servant into our master and giving it up, or setting boundaries is a great way to put it back in its right place. I’ve given it up several times over the years for Lent and I’ve always been blessed by the extra time it’s given me, to pray and simply be fully present in the moment. Why do I ever return to it? I guess it’s human nature, but I pray this time I will learn from my experience. Life here is so full on that I really have no extra time or mental energy to take on the worries of the world, through the media, whilst caring for my children. There’s a time and place for looking at all that and I’ve put it back where it belongs, in my evening time.

I’m putting in a picture of these seeds for accountability, as I will now have to plant them! Phil bought them a week ago and ever since then they have sat on my window ledge making me feel guiltiest as the days go on that I am missing my window for sowing. I’ll aim to post some pictures in another blog when the seedlings thriving. Nothing like a bit of pressure to make me move.

I have many ideas for other blog posts. I was thinking about a few ‘how did we do that?’ posts, about the early days with many little children. Posts on sleeping, weaning, toilet training and behaviour management were some of the ideas I had. I know many of you won’t have young children and so it may not be of interest, but I thought you could pass it on or you may just be curious about how life looks with 6 children 10 and under. I also thought it may well be of use to my children when they are new parents and I wanted to write it down before I forget what I did. Please let me know if there is anything you would like to see on the blog.

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Tearing down walls

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

Our house is ever changing. Walls being knocked down and new ones being built. Frankly it looks a mess. We’ve peeled wallpaper, ripped down ceilings, taken up floorboards and taken the house back to its bare bones. We have a vision for the beautiful home it will be, but right now it’s hard to see that. Part of the house is seemingly finished, but still it is a work in progress. There are always pictures to go up, curtains to hang and finishing touches to add. With 11 people living here we also make a mess and create dust, it all requires constant work.

The downstairs cloakroom, pantry and storeroom are being renovated to creat one large store room for food and the cloakroom is being moved to make way.


One day soon this will be a snug. For now it is a walk through room with bare ceilings and concrete.

Our bedroom has a new doorway through to an en suite bathroom. I am so excited to finally have a private bathroom after 19 years of parenting.

Our new kitchen is great to work in and we love it, but let’s be real, we still need to constantly clean it and tidy up, but’s that’s life this side of Heaven.

All this stripping back got me thinking. It’s rather like what God does in our lives. He allows us to go through tough times, times when it feels as if we are so raw, when the pain is so deep it feels like you can barely catch your breath. How can our loving Father allow us to go through that?

I know He isn’t distant from our pain, for His Word explains how He feels it too. I was meandering through Acts recently when I came across fresh ‘manna’ for the day. Saul had famously met with Jesus on the road to Damascus and Jesus called out, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ I wondered why he said that when Saul was killing Christians, not Christ? I realised that when something is causing pain to one of God’s children, they are causing pain to the body of Christ and thus to Him. Upon reading this verse I was taken aback as I contemplated the level of pain that Christ must feel each day as He carries our burdens. Pain is no longer ours to bear alone. Christ really does carry it for us.

How in reality can we give our pain to God? It is a question I have been asking of late. Phil has a gift, he lives in the moment and let’s go of the past, or just forgets it. I don’t find it so easy. I have the memory of an elephant and I never have an empty mind, generally I am like a computer with too many tabs open. The tabs have recently been overwhelming me, as many of them were too painful to open. I asked God to show me how to let go and gradually I’m learning. I am choosing to follow the advice given in Philippians 4:8, ‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things’. I realised that much of my time was being spent focusing on the wrong things. I was focusing on my sadness and the grief and in doing so was finding myself anxious and low. If I am to truly to heal, I need to follow God’s advice and be careful what I think of.

I am so much happier this week having spent my days listening to gentle music, reading the Bible to myself and the children, knitting, sewing and writing. In some ways it just feels like the self care the world would administer, but God thought of it first. God knows our human frailties and has an answer for each of them. The answer to leaving our troubles in God’s hands? Turn away from thinking about them constantly and fill our minds with pure and lovely things and watch Him melt away the pain, as He takes it from us.

One day I won’t feel so raw and I will have strength to think about Dad’s death, but for today I need a break and God, in His goodness, has shown me how to find one.

I wasn’t sure what I would write tonight, only that writing was what I must do. I hope that someone somewhere needed to hear these words. If I can help in any way, please feel free to drop me a message.

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Many blessings to you, Vicki

Storms of Life

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

Storm Arwen hit our smallholding hard near the end of last year. I was just reeling from the news of my Dad’s sudden death when an enormous storm rolled in and took down 7 of our trees. It seemed to be a physical reminder of the inward storm I was experiencing.

Phil and the older children went outside to assess the damage in the evening and already we’d lost some trees. We braced for the night ahead and prayed that nothing would damage any people or our home. We have around 100 trees here, so we were ripe for the picking as the wind gathered momentum.

Naming storms is a fairly new idea, I suppose it sort of personalises them, although it doesn’t make them any friendlier! In many ways though I am thankful to Storm Arwen, for she taught me a lesson.

We woke the following morning and peered out nervously from behind the curtains, the winds were beginning to subside and the full damage was laid before us. We all went back outside to see what had become of our trees and property. It looked fairly shocking, trees blocked the driveway and the area by the barn was a huge tangle of branches. It was Saturday morning and it quickly became apparent that we would have to undertake some serious work if we were to get our bus out to get to our usual weekend activities.

I was so grateful that it was the weekend and the older children were all at home. They worked with Phil to move the trees and make a way where there had previously been no way through.

I suspect you can see how God was starting to speak to me through this. I was still so raw from my Dad’s sudden death and I could see no way through the pain, but God was showing me. He gently demonstrated that the strength of my family, which he had given me, were going to help me find a way through my emotional storm.

The following weekend the family team got to work turning the fallen trees into logs. The chainsaw rang out all weekend, as a great pile of useful firewood was created. These trees had stood for decades and yet through their loss we were to be warmed and cared for, their loss was not in vain.

Again God was reminding me that he will always bring good from our pain. For he promises in Romans 8:28, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’

After Christmas we still had branches scattered around which were too small for firewood. After much consideration Phil decided to buy a chipper. We have so many trees that we felt that it was a worthwhile purchase. The chippings will go on our flowerbeds and in our compost bin to help keep our waste aerated. Nothing will be wasted.

God is so good, he continues to gently lead me through the pain of grief and He’s using His creation to help me understand how he works through the storms of life.

Happy Christmas

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

We’ve massively failed on the Christmas card front this year, so this is our Christmas blessing to all of our friends and family. Some of you who read the blog are friends we have never met, but your faithful following of the blog has been such a blessing to us over this last year, so thank you to each and every one of you.

It’s been a full year with highs and lows. We’ve renovated a huge amount of our property and have continued to create a home for our family and for those who come and visit us. With the kitchen complete and the lounge just about finished, we are ready for Christmas

With the fully operational vintage sewing machine, piano, log burner and wingback chairs, we are beginning to create the cosy, slightly period look we were after. We just need to get some grey and burgundy tartan curtains, a mantle piece and the room will be ready. Once the snug is finished the TV will go in there and the lounge will be a tech free room, that will be bliss.

The death of my dad has been a huge loss, but God is carrying us through and we are full of joy that Dad now rests with our Heavenly Father.

The children have all had a good year. Christopher has completed his year in industry, on a dairy farm, and is now in his final year studying agriculture. Jonathan did well in his GCSEs and is now doing A-levels, as he plans, God willing, on becoming an architect. Madeleine is working hard at school and has settled in well, but has been particularly excited by the arrival of a pony called Rosie. Elizabeth is very busy doing gymnastics in the National squad, this takes up four evenings of her week. Matthew has started Scouts and is loving it. Hannah has made lots of friends and loves attending our weekly home ed group. Stephen also enjoys the group and spends most of the time there playing football. Michael has started swimming this year and spends the whole lesson with a huge smile on his face! Katie is full of conversation and keeps us all entertained.

Phil and I are continuing to work as a team to fulfil the vision God has given us. We are very busy, but make time to enjoy some time with just the two of us in the evenings, a couple of nights a week.

I’ve struggled to pull Christmas together this year, with Dad dying and his funeral on December 14th, it was hard to find the energy. Thankfully the team pulled together and we’re just about ready. The oldest girls helped with some of the shopping and wrapping and Phil did the food shopping, as he always does, and the rest, well we sort of muddled through, or let it go. I read this today and it really resonated with me. Nothing can replace scripture and this is not intending to, but it helped me to make Corinthians 13 relevant to my life today.


‘If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals, and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug your child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss your husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the children to get out of the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.’
~ Unknown.

If you want to hear more about our escapades over the next year, be sure to subscribe to the blog. You can also follow us on Instagram at ‘goldbyfamilybusydays’. Praying that you all feel the joy of the Lord this Christmas. Lots of love and blessings, The Goldby Family

Eating an Elephant

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time, but I’ve been too busy trying to tackle too many things. So many tasks have been needed to be completed simultaneously and I have often lacked the knowledge of where to start.

Tonight Phil and most of the children are out at a fireworks party and for the first time in as long as I can remember I am alone for more than 5 minutes, and I know I am very unlikely to be disturbed for a good while. It’s taken a couple of hours of sweeping up, eating snacks and drinking tea, but I think I’m beginning to wind down. I’ve only got an hour left and I could choose between writing a blog or washing my hair but blogging wins as it is much easier for me to think and write when I’m on my own. Silence is my friend and one I often miss.

The last blog I wrote was weeks ago and I’m sorry I haven’t had chance to update the blog more often, but life got in the way, as it has a habit of doing. So what have we been up to, and what’s this about eating an elephant?

We’ve been living without a proper kitchen for a couple of months, which has been tough. I’ve found my day consumed with walking back and forth to the utility room with washing up. Why haven’t I made the children do the washing up you may ask? Sometimes I have, but sometimes the draw of a quiet room and a repetitive task, which doesn’t argue back, has just been too appealing 😉. It’s been worth it in terms of the beautiful kitchen we now have, but I have struggled with the noise and lack of space to take five.

With so many tradespeople in the house the noise level has been consistently high and my introverted side has been crying out for some space. Praise God for tonight’s silent offering, perhaps it’s something I need to find a way to achieve more often?

There have been so many decisions to make, all whilst listening to the background drone of drills, radios and banging along with the children’s needs ringing out in my ears. We’ve had to choose rendering colour, floor tiles for the kitchen, bathroom wall tiles, bathroom flooring, splash back designs, front door and internal door designs, carpet colours, wall paint colour, new to us (Facebook Marketplace) furniture, soft furnishings…..the list goes on. Thankfully we’ve made no really awful decisions, more by grace than anything else, as we have made all our choices at speed.

The house has been fully insulated and rendered in the last month. This involved weeks of banging, as the insulation was attached the the walls. It does look beautiful, although it is still hidden under a layer of scaffolding as we are waiting for the roofer to come and repair a section of the roof.

So back to the metaphorical elephant I’m trying to eat. I guess I’m learning that one can only take on any task bit by bit and not to look too hard at the overwhelming size of the tasks. The trouble is I’m a visionary thinker, I always see the bigger picture, it’s in my DNA. This ability is a gift from God, and in part why we are living this extraordinary life, but it’s also a weakness, unless I use the gift in the Lord’s strength.

Sometimes I see too much, I see the pain behind people’s eyes (and I want to fix it), I see the future playing out (it often doesn’t look good, apart from the Heaven part), I see the potential problems we might face and I don’t have broad enough shoulders to carry the weight. If silence has been hard to come by I find those burdens weigh me down, as my time alone with God gets harder to carve out.

Until tonight I don’t think I could pin down why I’ve been struggling of late, but in writing and silence I often discover what is buried within. My elephant’s already looking smaller, I think I might just have it in me to tackle one small task, maybe I’ll squeeze in that hair wash before the tribe descends 🙂.

‘And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.’ Mark 1:35. Even Jesus needed to be alone with his Father. If he needed it then I need it all the more. Trouble is, I don’t like mornings, I guess I’ll pray about that one and ask God to help me find my time with him.

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Home Educating through The Seasons

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

When we chose to move to the country, one of my main aims was to teach the children as much as possible, through real life, hands-on experiences.

Recently we have been so incredibly busy with the renovations that I was wondering how much learning had been going on, outside of their book work? I paused today, when I realised that, without me trying to plan learning into their week (which I find hard, as I’m more of a winger than a planner), learning was constantly happening.

As you can see, our new hens are starting to regrow their feathers, and are really enjoying their new found freedom.

This week though, we sadly found blood in our chickens’ poo, that was following the loss of three of our new chickens in fairly rapid succession. Our new battery hens appeared to be a dud batch, but after a quick Google search (yes we are Google farmers), we found out the cause. It appears that our hens have coccidiosis. This is apparently normal for hens, but our weak and stressed battery hens had not become immune to it and have thus succumbed to the bacteria. Phil quickly found the right treatment, and hopefully our hens will soon be right as rain. This has been a great opportunity to learn a bit of science, whilst taking care of our lady layers.

Our piglets are doing well, but we have had to take special care of one of them. Wilbur, as he has now been named, was not thriving, after a week or so, his front right leg just wasn’t working properly, and so he couldn’t get to the milk. As the week went on he was not getting better and was rarely with the rest of the litter. We decided that if we didn’t do something, then he would die of starvation. We got him a bottle and some pig formula and very soon he was happily sucking. After a couple of days though, his mother must have sensed his change in smell, and we saw her pick him up in her mouth and throw him against the wall! We quickly picked him up, before he met with an untimely end.

We are keeping him in an old dog crate, lined with straw, with a heat lamp over him. He has milk four times a day and we also take him out a couple of times a day for a play and a cuddle. He is now thriving and his leg is healing and he’s now ready to start on some dry pig food. We’ve done some maths, by weighing him and his sibling, to compare weights, we’ve calculated his formula quantity and his mum’s dried food quantities, as she requires more food now her piglets are growing. The children are loving hand raising the piglet and are learning the responsibility of taking care of him. They have all understood that he is being raised for meat and thankfully they all seem ok with that.

We’ve also been discussing bringing in the pumpkins and the onions, to dry out in the greenhouse. This reminded me of Mr McGregor in the Peter Rabbit books, as Peter’s eyes watered when he was around the drying-out onions. I hope to extendthis activity to improve the younger children’s language skills, by reading the Beatrix Potter stories, which are full of wonderfully rich language, with words like ‘soporific’, which are sadly not found in modern children’s literature.

We are up to our eyeballs in building work, plaster dust and tradesmen’s radios blaring out from various corners of the house. Trying to keep Katie safe is a constant challenge, as she is just so curious! The main part of the build is complete, but there is still much to do. This week our kitchen will start to go in, which we are very excited about. Washing up in the utility room is quite a large extra task, and I shall be very grateful when we have running water in our kitchen and a dishwasher. We’ve really made the most of our new patio and have been able to have a few friends round for dinner and afternoon tea.

Much practical learning has also been gained, as the children are also being constantly exposed to all the skills of the tradesmen who are doing the renovations. They are often found shadowing the plumbers, joiner, electricians or builders and asking lots of great questions, often starting with why?! Thankfully all the workmen are extremely patient, and they even seem to enjoy the children’s curiosity.

Today we decided to try our hand at making Rosehip syrup, from our own Rosehips. We used honey as the sweetener, and it was generally popular. Apparently it has 20 times as much vitamin C as an orange, and should help to fight off the winter bugs.

I’m currently being reminded that seasons of life are not just dictated by the weather, but also the current situation we find ourselves in. We are currently in a very busy season but thankfully God is providing lots of natural learning opportunities, through his creation and through his gracious provision of our home, which is making it much easier to find learning opportunities around every corner.

During these busy and often tiring, but blessed days, I look out on God’s creation and remember,

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3 22-23

Learning to Rest in the Chaos

Posted on by Vicki Goldby

A week last Saturday our piglets arrived, all 12 of them. It’s taken a while for me to post an update, because I took 6 of the children on holiday, with lots of other Christian home educators, last week, and I’m still busy unpacking and catching up on the washing.

The day of the piglets arrival was a normal sunny Saturday and at just before lunchtime Christopher suddenly rushed up to the window calling, ‘the piglets have arrived.’ Initially I misheard and thought the biscuits had arrived, but realising that a Hob Nob lorry was sadly not outside our house, I came to and figured out that Mrs Piggy (Posy) was busy delivering her first litter. The family rushed to the scene and found Posy seemingly fast asleep, with 3 piglets already born, 2 had found there way to the milk and the third just needed freeing from his cord. After that 5 more arrived in quick succession, with a mixture of oohs and aahhs from the children and the occasional ‘that is just too disgusting!’ Phil felt well prepared for piglet delivery, having delivered our last baby single handed. The process was very similar, but after piglet number 8, came a curve ball. The placenta came out and we thought we must be done, but then another piglet followed fast behind. We were now confused, as this was a significant diversion from our human birthing experience! Another 3 piglets then arrived, the last requiring lots of rubbing and silent waiting, as the children willed it to live like its brothers and sisters. Within a few minutes it had started taking little breaths and the children could be heard breathing their own sighs of relief. I knew our home ed learning experience was in full swing when Matthew ran into the kitchen asking, ‘can we please have a bin liner for the placenta?’

This was what we wanted when we came to live here. We wanted our children to experience learning in a hands on way, a way which enabled all their senses to memorise their experiences.

Soon after the birth, Posy stood up and we moved her behind her farrowing bars. These bars are there to enable her piglets to get to her, but to prevent her from squashing them. This worked well for a few days, but her desire to get to her piglets clearly overcame her when we discovered that she’d broken through into the main pen. Thankfully by this time all the piglets were a bit larger, and she was more adept at avoiding sitting or lying on them.

I must say, I am finding them totally captivating. Whenever I have a moment, I am to be found just watching them. Their antics are endlessly entertaining and stories about them are shared around the dinner table, as we discover many of us have been secretly sneaking off to piglet gaze. Today Elizabeth shared how the piglets had argued over their milk, over who should get which spot, and 3 of them had gone up to mummy’s face and told her in no uncertain terms that this wasn’t fair. Elizabeth said their grunts almost sounded like ‘no, no, no!’.

We plan to sell about 8 of them and raise 4 for meat. Will we be able to sell and eat these gorgeous little grunters? I have no doubt we won’t mind, as they won’t be cute for long and they’ll soon lose their novelty, as the amount of mess they make grows. I’m very thankful to Madeleine, who has taken on the job of pig mucker-outer. She loves to muck out and care for horses, and this is the nearest we can currently get, so she is getting in lots of practice. We are considering loaning a horse for her, if one becomes available.

After the huge excitement of the piglets on the Saturday, we spent the Sunday packing, as I had arranged to take the youngest 6 away to Wales for a home ed holiday, with lots of friends. I thought it would be hard work, taking them on my own, but as we currently have no running water in the kitchen (the water is in the utility which is the other side of the house), it seemed like a good idea to get the children out of the house. Phil needed to stay here, as Jonathan and Madeleine needed to go to school, the animals needed care and the builders needed lots of questions answering. As it turned out, it wasn’t really hard work, as I had loads of help from some lovely teenagers at the camp, and I ended up coming home refreshed and rejuvenated.

The water slide on the holiday was enjoyed by all, I even went down it with Katie and Michael.

Phil on the other hand had discovered how much there is to do at home, even without all the children. We found the experience to be really helpful and it gave us both food for thought. We have been running on empty for a while and have barely stopped in the 2 years, since we arrived. After a few strong words (which we rarely have) with one another and some prayer, we realised that we had been failing to listen to God’s best advice and rest one day in seven. So yesterday we took a real rest, oh my, it was good. After church, we ate lunch, went for a family walk and then came home for a cup of tea, it was bliss! Phil is a very driven man, whose favourite question is, ‘what do we need to achieve today?’, but sometimes, the best thing we can achieve is to rest, and yesterday, we began to learn about that.

‘So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.’ Genesis 2:3

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