Summer Activities

Posted on 25th July 202326th July 2023 by Vicki Goldby

Summer days bring hours of time missing from the daily grind. Time, that illustrious gift we all desire. Days of running in summer meadows, picking blackberries. Days of building forts and making dams. Hours of fun playing hide and seek among the leafy trees.

Summer is also full of insect bits, hay fever and sibling squabbles, but nothing’s perfect this side of Heaven, so I guess we’ll roll with the seasons and embrace the good bits.

What are the Goldby family up to during these heady summer days? The oldest two boys have ventured north to undertake the NC500, driving the northern tip of Scotland with friends in tow. They’ve eaten and slept under the stars, swam in waterfalls and embraced the exhilaration of youth.

And what of the others? Still more adventures awaited them. Madeleine has ventured forth to the rainy, but very beautiful coast of Wales. She’s been given an amazing opportunity to work and train at a stables where they train horses in liberty work and dressage, think horses doing tricks on film sets. She’s learnt to cook for herself and is thoroughly devouring her first foray into independence.

Wales is such a thoroughly beautiful country.

Elizabeth has thrived at school, where she has been attending for the last two terms. She’s now ready to tackle GCSES and is revelling in her last summer of freedom before the work sets in.

Matthew has built, with Stephen and Hannah’s help, this rather cool fort in the garden. With hand sewn flags, hand carved shields and a super powerful catapult from which they have fired windfall apples. I’ve been as delighted in the team work as I have with the construction, this joint venture seems to have bonded this little team together.

Michael often joins in with these exciting games with his older siblings, but sometimes is content to ride around on his bike with Katie, or build furniture out of logs, cut down from the storms last winter.

A homemade table, just right for a summer tea party.

Timothy has undertaken the challenge of walking and is delighting us all with his wobbly but determined steps.

Phil continues to juggle small holding life, fatherhood and holding down a full time job, working with folks in the UK, Asia and the U.S., which often means late night meetings and more recently a couple of trips to the Big Smoke. He’s recently being laying cables for the new solar panels we’re fitting, ready to increase our energy independence and hopefully save some money as well.

I’m gaining head space, something I deeply crave. With schoolwork off the summer menu I can consume the delights of time. Time alone and time with less pressure. Space to garden and potter in the greenhouse. I’m loving the weather this summer, warm enough to work outside and cool enough to work in the kitchen…perfect.

Today we’ve picked French beans and covered some unused beds with sheeting, hoping to avoid an invasion of weeds. A friend visited and the children played with her children whilst we chatted and prayed together. What a gift fellowship is, so much more than friendship, a connection on a spiritual level, true sisters.

I’m just thankful for these everyday activities, our life filled with gifts from God. Some days I struggle to focus on the positive and get dragged down into negativity, dwelling on the grumbles, squabbles and plain hard work; but then I pull myself up by my bootstraps and reframe my thoughts. When I put my challenges in perspective I can see them from further off, I can see the patience God is trying to grow in me, the tolerance the children develop for people who push their buttons(their siblings) and I see so much to be thankful for. When I give thanks in everything my mood changes and I see the beauty in the everyday moments.

What are you all up to this summer? Sending you all blessings, Vicki

Personality Types

Posted on 23rd July 202323rd July 2023 by Vicki Goldby

As we’re talking about personalities, here’s our little mover. He’s nine months here and already walking.

It’s taken me a while to pluck up the courage to write this blog post. It’s not that I have anything particularly shocking to say, it’s just…well it’s been quite a while since I last wrote and it’s kind of hard to get back in the saddle. I’ve written posts in my head a hundred times and then second guessed myself and thought better of it. I see the outcome of my words and dwell on how they will be received.

My problem is largely perfectionism. A fear of getting something wrong. A fear of offending. A fear of letting my family down.

I think, to an extent I was born this way, but perhaps there was some nurturing involved in the formation of my fears? I see perfectionism in Elizabeth and Jonathan, who are both, in many ways, quite like me. It’s strange seeing aspects of my own personality from the other side.

I see perfectionism can lead to procrastination and can be something of a disability. The reality is that nothing will be perfect this side of Heaven and trying to create perfection will only lead to frustration or pride.

So, instead of perfection, I will have to satisfy myself with good enough. By the Grace of God I pray that something I say will be of use to someone.

I’ve been learning a lot about personalities recently. I have a great interest in the workings of the human mind, what makes us tick. Each of us are unique, but within a family we see overlaps in personality and understanding a little more about why we think or behave the way we do helps us to be the best version of ourselves.

It is my aim to honour God in my thinking and not to overly secularise this topic. God has created each of us and I see that for every weakness there is a strength. For example, Jonathan is a very skilled craftsman and makes beautiful things, but oh my, he is slow. He’ll get the job done, but timing isn’t his specialist subject. Christopher, on the other hand, will have a job done before you’ve even thought of it! It won’t be perfect, but it will be done. The amazing thing is when these two young men work together. The job gets done with efficiency and beauty.

I’ve learnt that I’m a highly sensitive INFP. For those who need that translated, it means I’m an introverted mediator, sensitive to bright lights, sounds and emotional stimuli. I feel all of these things on a deeper level than most people, apparently 20% of people are made this way. Without thinking about I’ve learnt to deal with this by, among other things, having dimmer switches on all our lights, avoiding using the bathroom fan and opening the window instead and avoiding background music. I can’t eliminate all stressful noises (I have ten children😜) but I can recharge regularly by sneeking off for 5 minutes alone. I’ve found having emotional teenagers to be really draining, as I absorb all their feelings, but knowledge is power and so I’m learning to set boundaries to help them and preserve my sanity.

The flip side to this is that I’m deeply empathetic. For example, during the lockdowns, when everyone was clapping on doorsteps and baking banana bread, I was churning inside, thinking about children living with abusive parents, unable to escape. I prayed for children with alcoholic parents, children who took responsibility for caring for their siblings in the absence of parents who had to work.

Carrying around so many feelings is often exhausting and yet it means I have to draw so close to God, to hand over everything that weighs me down, to trust that he watches over everyone and he hears my prayers.

But God created us to be part of a body and no one part is better than the other, we need each other in order to thrive.

In our marriage I see that Phil is a doer, not a feeler and I’m so grateful for this. Whilst I’m busy dwelling on the problems of the world, he’s busy fixing them. I share my concerns with him and he’s the first to ask what can be done. When I had the vision of living on this smallholding, Phil was busy working out the finances and practicalities.

Recently Phil has been laying cables ready to install some solar panels, enabling us to rely less on the grid and preparing our family for the days ahead.

Marriage and family can be a beautiful picture of God’s body, the key is perspective. We need to look at situations from a distance, see the bigger picture and in everything give thanks.

I’m still working on this…I’ll let you know how it goes.

What about you? Have you done a Myers Briggs personality test, this one is free https://www.16personalities.com/?

Are any of you highly sensitive? Here’s a test https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

I’d love to hear from you if any of this resonates with you.

Sending blessings to you all, Vicki

How We Met

Posted on 4th July 20234th July 2023 by Vicki Goldby

He was sitting with a Gin and Tonic in hand, relaxing back in his chair, watching the celebrations unfolding, unaware of the tornado of fun spinning his way, ready to sweep into his life and turn it upside down. His sensible and predictable life was about to change forever.

As the music played, a young girl came spinning in his direction, losing her balance she fell into his lap, looking up into his eyes she declared, “you’re lovely!” And the rest, as they say, is history.

That was me, twenty-five years ago today. Admittedly I’d had a more than my fair share of Malibu (what was I thinking) and may have not been entirely sober, but God orchestrated my steps and allowed me to fall into the safest pair of arms.

In three days time we’ll celebrate our twenty-second wedding anniversary, but there’s something about the anniversary of the day we met which brings me particular joy. Our wedding day was organised by us, but I feel like our meeting was entirely organised by God. It was a meeting made in Heaven and I think the angels were smiling that day.

A Country Life for Half the Price – The Revisit

Posted on 26th April 202328th April 2023 by Vicki Goldby

Many of you have been asking us when the revisit will be on TV, well, we finally have a date. It will air this Friday, 28th April at 8pm on Channel 5. It was filmed February 2021, so it will be somewhat out of date, but it will be interesting to look back. It was filmed during a winter lockdown and so it was a very strange time.

I am curious to see how they edit it, as we have no idea how it will turn out. I remember that during the interview we were keen to be real, hopefully that will come across in the right way. We don’t want anyone to think that moving to the country is all roses around the door. If you want to know more about why we moved to the country, this blog post tells all, https://www.lifeinallitsfullness.blog/blog/farmlife/learning-to-trust-our-house-moving-testimony/

When thinking about the final edit, I pondered what the TV programme will miss….the less than beautiful vision of me first thing in a morning, in my PJs with builders all over the house and a small child yelling that they’d finished on the loo and could I please come. They never filmed me dealing with said child as I then tried to wash my hands and realised that the plumber has just turned off the water. The TV won’t reveal the layers of plaster dust. They never filmed me running back and forth to the utility from our makeshift kitchen to get water, with Katie and Michael glued to my leg, or the stress of me trying to cook a daily meal for 11 with no dishwasher, and the sink at the other end of the house, with a wet concrete floor in the middle of the house. Thankfully they didn’t catch me stealing a quiet moment in the store room, sitting on a huge bag of flour eating my favourite dark chocolate.

The TV programme was really fun to do and a great memory, but real life is messy and ours is no different. I’m not sure if people want to see reality though, or do they prefer inspirational television showing a glossy version of a real life?

I’m real though and I’m determined to not hide behind a TV facade. I would never want someone to see our programme and believe that their life will be wonderful if only they live in the country. I think it’s important for each of us to ‘bloom where we are planted’. Whether we live in the town or the country, this is only our temporary home, our real home is Heaven and until we get there, no location will truly scratch the itch that longs for something better.

We got a country life for half the price, but the cost of living in Heaven is free, the price has been paid for us, all we have to do is accept the gift. By believing that the real person Jesus Christ, died to pay the price for the wrong things we’ve done, we can get so much more than a good life here on earth, we will get eternal life in a place more beautiful, more peaceful and more joyful than we can ever dream of.

If you’re curious about how I made the leap of faith and put my total trust in God, this post covers it, https://www.lifeinallitsfullness.blog/blog/faith/hope-in-suffering/

If you’ve enjoyed reading this post please consider subscribing to the blog at https://www.lifeinallitsfullness.blog/subscribe/and you can also follow us on Instagram at goldbyfamilybusydays.

Sending God’s richest blessings to all our readers.

The Faith of a Weary Mother

Posted on 24th March 202314th April 2023 by Vicki Goldby

Time, the gift I crave. Time to think, to process my thoughts. Time to sit in silence. Time to allow my mind to wander, to cogitate, to digest the day.

I’ve found my old friend Time, just a glimpse, the hours just after dawn whilst the house is sleeping. I took Timothy, now 6 months old, to bed as early as I dared, hoping to shift his body clock, in preparation for the clocks changing. He slept like a baby, as in waking frequently! I think he just needs his own room so that he can roll around as much as he wants without disturbing his light-sleeping mother. Phil, of course, sleeps deeply and hears nothing, not even the cries of an overtired baby, his ears close off to all outside noise as soon as his head touches the pillow. I’m really grateful Phil sleeps well because at least half of the team is fully rested and alert, rather than us both being beaten up by sleep deprivation. We are planning on Timothy getting his own room very soon, as we are finishing off the decoration on a new bedroom downstairs and then Jonathan will move down there and that will free up a room upstairs for Timothy.

I’ve had this blog post on my mind for weeks, waiting for a free hour in which to write it. God has been frequently drawing together a theme which he is using to give me daily encouragement and which I thought would be an encouragement to others as well.

God first dropped the idea into my mind during a church sermon many weeks ago. We were learning about Hudson Taylor, the missionary who served in China. His salvation was brought about during a time of intense prayer by his mother. She went away with the specific aim of not returning until she was assured of his salvation. It was indeed during this time of prayer that he came to know Christ as his Saviour. We also learnt of Hannah in the Bible who prayed for a son and was then blessed with Samuel, who served the Lord all his days.

I was then reminded of St Augustine. He was a rebellious character but he said that his mother ‘was in greater labor to ensure my salvation than she had been at my birth’. There was the example of Jochebed, the mother of Moses, who saved her baby son from certain death at the hands of the Egyptians. John Newton, the writer of ‘Amazing Grace’ tells that his mother “stored my memory, which was then very retentive, with many valuable pieces, chapters and portions of scripture, catechisms, hymns, and poems.” We may may not have ‘Amazing Grace’ if it were not for a faithful mother. Another famous hymn writer and his brother, the founder of Methodism, were brought up by a Godly mother. John and Charles Wesley were home educated at the knee of their mother Susanna, who famously hid under her apron many times a day, using it as a tabernacle for prayer. I often feel her need, as she was, like me, a busy mum of many. I prefer to hide and pray in the store cupboard, with the chocolate!

There are many, many more mothers who had a huge influence on their children, perhaps Timothy in the Bible is worth a mention, as he is our baby son’s namesake. Timothy speaks of the faith of his mother and grandmother. The same can be said of King David, who writes, ‘because I serve you just as my mother did’, Psalm 86:16.

Mothers, we have such a quiet and yet enormous role in the lives of our children, our influence can last for generations. We can be so encouraged by these godly examples, encouraged to hold on when our teenagers are exhausting us with their petulant behaviour, when our toddlers are persisting with every kind of mischief or when our babies seem to have given up on sleeping. We can continue to be encouraged if our adult children go astray, for we must not ‘grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we faint not’, Galatians 6:9.

Hold on for the ride of parenthood, it’s sometimes eye-wateringly difficult, but like the harnesses on the wild rides at a theme park, if we trust in the One who is holding us, we can enjoy the ups and downs it brings. Our job is to teach, to pray, to love and trust the Lord with the rest.

Who Do You Work For?

Posted on 11th February 202311th February 2023 by Vicki Goldby

Do you have a difficult boss? Do you work for yourself? Are you retired? Maybe like me you’re a full time parent. Whatever your situation, we all have the potential to be employed. Even those who can’t move from their beds can be workers. Even our children can work.

I may be starting to sound a little crazy, so what am I talking about? Those of us who are Christians have a boss who is above all earthly employers, one who we all work for whatever our daily circumstances. You see when we become Christians we are employed in the services of our Master to carry out his will here on earth. Each day he has a work day planned out for us. It’s not an onerous one, because he say, ‘my yoke is easy and my burden is light,’ Matthew 11:30.

So what are our responsibilities? There are some specific tasks, for specific people and some generalised tasks for each Christian. For example, all Christians are called to obey God, love each other and tell others about Jesus. As mother’s we have more specific instructions.

Women are told to, ‘love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.‘ Titus 2 3-5.

Does that mean we are to be chained to the kitchen sink? Not at all! It’s a joy to work for Jesus, he is a gentle leader, ‘He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.’ Isaiah 40:11.

I think the heart of the matter is our heart. ‘For where your treasure is, your heart will be also,’ Matthew 6:21. What is it we treasure? Do we treasure selfish pursuits, or servant pursuits? Do we want to please ourselves, or please our Master? What is most important to us? Some people work for money, some for prestige, some for job satisfaction, what motivates you? Some people are unable to go out to work due to ill health, does that mean they are useless to God? Absolutely not, some of God’s best workers are immobile elderly people who simply pray. If that’s God’s calling to you today then you will be a faithful worker if you just do that.

So how can we work faithfully for God? For me it begins when I wake. I ask him how I may serve him today and ask him to strengthen me for the tasks ahead. As a mother my day is full, but it needs the organisation the Lord brings to show me how to prioritise my tasks. So much to do each day and only 24 hours to do it in. I don’t think God asks us to to everything though, but to do everything we do for him, in his strength and for his glory.

So how does this practically work out? By working this way I have complete peace that God will give me enough hours to complete the essential tasks and that anything not done was not meant for today. With prayer, he will help me get round to it tomorrow. Some tasks he helps me do, some he asks me to ditch and some to delegate, but with his wisdom it all gets done.

I have written this post as much as a reminder to me as to anyone that, ‘whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,’. Colossians 3:23. Work is a gift, for even Adam and Eve worked before the fall, it’s our attitude to it that transforms it into something holy.

I pray that all of you can find joy in your work today, whatever it is God is calling you to do. Sending blessings to each and every one of you.

London with a Baby and an Update

Posted on 6th February 20236th February 2023 by Vicki Goldby

So I haven’t written a blog post for weeks, there’s a good reason for this. Timothy doesn’t sleep in the evenings and the other children don’t leave me alone all. day. long. I love looking after them all, but it can get quite intense when you don’t have a minute to yourself.

Anyway I’ve managed to carve out a few minutes and so I thought I’d squeeze in a quick update.

Last week Phil, Timothy and I went down to London to support Jonathan who, along with his team mates, had got through to the finals of a Dragon’s Den style competition. The finals took place at Mansion House in the City of London (The Lord Mayor’s House). We were invited to support him and so Super Nana and Super Papa looked after the other children whilst Phil and I were away.

I was unsure whether Timothy would be allowed to join us and so I emailed ahead, asking whether I could bring him. They welcomed him with open arms and he was a bit of a star. He had a mention in the speeches, and the Lady Mayoress came up specifically to meet him. He was a great conversation starter, and Phil and I got quite adept at holding a baby, a glass of wine whilst feeding each other canapés!

One lady commented that I was being very brave and inclusive bringing my breastfed baby. I think I ticked their inclusivity box for the night 😁. People were just so delighted to see a baby and it made me think that perhaps we hide babies away?

A breastfeeding baby, carried in a sling can be so easy to take out, depending on their personality. Timothy is just the right age to travel with, as he’s old enough to not be exhausting, but young enough to not be crawling. Anyway, it was a wonderful night away and Phil and I had chance to talk and eat out without chatter from the older children. Four hours each way in the car, with a sleeping baby, was a huge luxury in terms of quiet time together.

This week we’ve got a couple of birthdays coming up and so I’m busy planning parties and presents. We make a fuss of the children on their birthdays, making them each feel really special. They choose all their meals and they can choose how they want to celebrate. We have a birthday budget for a party and a present, and then they decide what they want to do. They often choose to take a couple of friends to a trampoline park or the younger ones might go to soft play. They each have a meal in the evening with just Phil and I, which is always very special.

Elizabeth has recently started at school, in year 9, as she would like to take GCSEs at school, as a couple of her older siblings have done. She is thankfully settling in very well. It’s always a bit nerve racking sending them into school, having home educated them, as we want to ensure we have prepared them sufficiently to slot into their year group. It appears that Phil and I have so far passed muster!

In all seriousness though I think it’s a shame that our education system rates success by academic grades, as people are so much richer than that. Human beings have such a variety of skills and many of these can’t be graded, but all are valuable. We hope that, with home education, we are giving each of our children the foundations of faith and the opportunities to discover their gifts. We then send them out when they need experts to further their learning in specific areas.

Sorry this update is somewhat lacking in depth, but hopefully I will be able to find more time to blog as Timothy grows and settles in the evenings. In the meantime my ramblings will at least remind you all we are still here and that I haven’t forgotten to post updates.

Sending blessings to you all.

The Gift of a Year

Posted on 20th December 202220th December 2022 by Vicki Goldby

What’s in a year? In January I met 2022 for the first time. 2022 seemed somewhat uncertain of his character. He’d been delivered to us courtesy of his mother, 2021, and she wasn’t a very cheery character. She came with lockdowns and fear, would her son fair any better? 2022 told us he would bring us hope and a new start. He promised healing from a virus, healing for families torn apart and healing for our nation. Sadly 2022 wasn’t entirely honest and seems to have been somewhat deluding himself.

2022 has for many people, been an extremely hard year. It’s been filled with media-fuelled fears, financial difficulties and a time of enormous change for our nation.

All I can say is I’m grateful to know the One who holds each year. He’s the One who offers each year to us as a gift, an unwrapped present, full of hope. Some years bring instant gratification gifts, financial rewards, family joys or fulfilled achievements, but other years the gifts are harder to enjoy, their joy hidden beneath layers of pain.

Maybe you can relate? Maybe your year has been filled with pain? How can we find the gift buried beneath layers of disappointment, worry and stress? If we know the Giver of each day only gives good gifts to His children then how can we find the gifts that this past year has brought? I think the secret lies in the Giver.

Jesus loves us so much that He sometimes says no, He sometimes has a bigger miracle to do in us. When our circumstances aren’t changing despite our petitions, we can be sure that God has heard us and He is at work in the situation, changing us. Every pain and trouble can do one of two things, drive us to God, or to sin, to the sins of self-pity, anger and worry. The first response will give us peace in the storm and the second will steal it away.

I’ve had plenty of opportunities this year to choose my responses. Everyday trials have come my way and each time I was met with a choice. I’ve had 9 uncomfortable months of pregnancy and a birth which was challenging, teenagers with a barrage of emotions unloaded on me daily, endless housework and sibling squabbles. Today I have just felt rather lonely, missing friends whose children are unwell.

Each time I’ve met with those same two choices, to turn to God or to turn to sin. It’s a constant battle with Self. Self wants us to feel sorry for ourselves, to give way to fear or to anger. It’s an act of will, to turn our backs on Self and to turn to the One who has the answers. It’s an action we don’t face alone, the Holy Spirit is our Helper. All we have to do is turn and He’ll do the rest.

I’ve often made the wrong choice, chosen fear, self pity or resentment. I know what I should be doing, but in the words of Paul, ‘I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. Romans 7:15. It’s a good job God never gives up on us, He continually calls us to Himself. He uses our circumstances to draw us to Him.

We’ll be meeting 2023 soon, wrapped as an unknown gift, awaiting us. Will we find the gift enclosed? God asks us to ‘seek the LORD your God…you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.’ Deuteronomy 4:29.

I pray for us all that this Christmas we will find the ultimate gift. Amid the chaos and the crazy, may we take time to understand why we celebrate. Whatever Christmas and the new year holds for you, I pray you will turn to Jesus, the One who has all the answers.

New Arrivals

Posted on 23rd November 202223rd November 2022 by Vicki Goldby

It seems that this Autumn has been the season of new arrivals here. Timothy’s birth started the ball rolling and just a couple of weeks later we had another birth here on our little farm.

Our cows, Mary and Martha, were visited earlier this year by a friendly bull called Ginger. Ginger was with us for 6 months, enough time we hoped, for our cows to become pregnant. Months passed and we had the cows checked by a vet, she said that she thought Martha was pregnant and due in May.

May came and went, June, July still no calf , August, still no calf. We assumed the vet was mistaken, as cows are pregnant for 9 months, not nearly a year! Then one day a vet came to do the regular TB tests and we asked her to check to see if Martha was pregnant. After a less than dignified procedure, somewhat reminiscent of ‘All Creature Great and Small’ she discovered two legs, confirmation that Martha was indeed in calf. We were told that potentially the calf was mummified, as it may have been in there too long, something which happens sometimes, it doesn’t harm the cow but eventually the cow is induced to bring the dead calf out. We would just have to wait and see.

The story culminated early one cool October morning when my friend came to visit. She nonchalantly asked when our calf had been born? The next half an hour was filled with a flurry of excited squeals, as child after child donned a coat and wellies over their pyjamas and charged out to field, to meet the new arrival.