Mother’s Day 2003, I held my tiny Christopher in my arms, full of delight that I was a mother and yet full of anxieties and perceived control. Phil was busy in the office all week and he was often taking trips to the US, it frequently felt as if all the practical tasks to keep this little boy alive was down to me.
Fast forward to Mother’s Day 2011. I had 5 children ages eight down to newborn. Life was still full of anxieties, but I had had to surrender much of my perceived control. Despite the challenges, here I was doing it, living the life I’d always dreamed of, but all these little people were needing a piece of me and often all at the same time! The days were still overwhelming, but they weren’t five times harder, they were just exceptionally full.
As my mind continues to play the videotape of my motherhood, I arrive at Mother’s Day 2026. My 24th Mother’s Day. This was the Mother’s Day that broke the mould, the one where I began to see the fruit of my labours.
I woke up in style with a cup of tea and when I’d showered and dressed, without a little one banging down the door, I descended the stairs for breakfast and a request from the children to be ready at 9.15am, for my presents! I’d already received a gift from my now grown up Christopher and his lovely wife and I was feeling suitably spoilt and loved, just from that, but there was more.
I opened the usual sweet cards from my littles, daffodil pictures and a selection of daffodil heads to float in a cup (they never remember to pick from the bottom of the stem!). After that Jonathan and Elizabeth brought in my gift, they’d colluded with Madeleine and Christopher and had bought me something. It was a beautifully wrapped table, jug and mug, or so it appeared.
On further inspection I began to see all might not be what it appeared. I slowly peeled back the wrapping around the ‘table’ and as I unwrapped I found beneath the superficial layers was hidden the cast iron frying pan I’d been asking for, for a while. Contained within the ‘cup’, which was perfectly made of card, were chocolates and in the ‘jug’ daffodils, with full length stems!
I genuinely teared up, not just at the presents, but at the thoughtfulness and the planning that had gone into it. My heart was so full, finally I knew they appreciated me in a way I’d never experienced before.
So much of mothering ‘littles’ is about giving. Giving our bodies, our time, our love, our everything. We don’t expect anything in return because that’s not why we do it, but one day it comes. One day we turn the corner and hidden beneath the layers of the years of raising littles, we find the prize; the knowledge that we have raised children who love and care and who, because of the grace of God, are growing up to be just the people you’d hoped they’d be when you were struggling thorough the endless ‘giving years’.
I am so blessed that I still have littles and I have yet to enjoy more Mother’s Days full of daffodil heads and egg box daffodils. But now those days will be balanced with these older children, who give me hope that my labours are not in vain. I can testify that every ounce of love we pour into our children will come back to us, for love never fails.
So to all the mums who are currently in the trenches and are feeling overwhelmed, hold on, brighter days are ahead and everything you are doing is so worth it. Just keep loving, because love never fails.
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